I know not all men are like the ones I am angry with, but the good ones are sure hiding out in some pretty good spots, because we can’t find them. Come out and play good guys, prove to us that you do exist, because we are starting to wonder. Don’t let the jerks ruin it for you. The nice guys really do win! I promise you!
I have a lot of single friends. I used to be one, and I hung out with some pretty awesome girls! Occasionally they still let me party with them. Why I am married now and they are still single is beyond me. I don’t have any more to offer than they do. These women have amazing faith, perseverance and they blow me away with their acts of service and compassion. I am baffled as to why they are constantly dumped on by low caliber men.
These women want to follow the counsel of our church leaders. They want to be married in the temple and raise a righteous posterity. If you are not of our faith, let me just explain. We believe that the family is central to God’s plan. He wants us to get married and have children. Those family bonds survive beyond death. We believe that we can be sealed to our spouse and our children can be sealed to us and we can see our loved ones again after death. This explains it better than I could.
OK, back to my problem. These women are treated as doormats and playthings. I know. They used to do it to me. I played along. If a guy knew I liked him, he would milk it. He had no intention of ever being more than a "friend," but he would treat me as if he liked me and then disappear. It would break my heart, and my heart was too tender to be broken over and over. I didn't realize that these guys had no right to treat me the way they did until I met Jeff.
Jeff was one of the good guys, who was treated by women the same way I was treated by men. We were both tired of it. As I got to know him and fell in love with him, I realized how poorly those guys had treated me. I didn't deserve that and they didn't deserve me.
My whole rambling stems from a text I got from a good friend today. A weasel just informed her he liked her as a "friend," even though his behavior suggested otherwise. I have a few things to say to my friend, and all you other single ladies. I won't say anything about the guy. I have seen his kind and they are not worth my time anymore. I am only telling you what I have learned being married to one of the good guys.
*Find a guy who calls you beautiful, even when you are crying and your eyes are puffy and your nose is running. Beauty is more than skin deep. A guy who can call you beautiful on your worst day sees the real you and sees your worth.
*Find a guy who would move heaven and earth for you if he could. A guy who is willing to run back downstairs to fetch something that you forgot is worth more than any worldly treasure.
*Find a guy whose world is you. You are the one who gives him strength to get through the day. You are the one who he wants to come home to. He doesn't flirt with other girls, he flirts with you.
*Find a guy who doesn't try and change who you are. He loves you no matter how dorky, nerdy, goofy and irritating you can be. He laughs at your stupid jokes and puts up with your bad moods.
*Find a guy who is enamored by you. A guy who will watch you as you cross a room and thinks you look stunning in a pair of sweat pants and an oversized t-shirt.
*Find a guy you respect. Your guy will treat others with kindness and tenderness. He will love your friends as much as you do. He will want the best for them, just like you do. He will honor his commitments and not back down from what he believes.
*Find a guy who will cuddle next to you and thank you for being you, and loving him. He will be so grateful for the blessing you are to him. You have chosen to be with him over any other guy and he will shower you with love and respect. You don't have to question his loyalty to you, you have it 100%.
I know that kind of guy is out there, I found one. So, walk away from the guys who take from you and give nothing back. Look for the good guys who will cherish you. He doesn't need to make a lot of money or be the best looking guy you know, he just needs to be real and genuine.
2 comments:
Speaking as one of your single friends... Let me just say this. Thank you. You always have the best advice. You always know exactly what to say. And you're dead on once again. ~K
I feel the same way, M. Why was I lucky enough to find someone when I have so many amazing girlfriends who want to be wives, mothers & raise righteous families? I honestly have no more (probably less, actually) to offer than they do. I still get mad at the stupid boys in my old singles ward, who were there to play around or fill their canteens before they moved back out west to grow up & get married. I am sick & tired of boys using girls this way. (I realize, in saying this, that there are some girls out there who also do this to honest men looking for their soulmates, but typically, I have found that more men are hurting my girlfriends than the opposite.) I wish I knew how to help these amazing, temple-worthy, spiritual & fun ladies reach their deepest desires in life (whether it be to have a family or not). Some of the best women I have ever known are single. And incredible. The only thing I can think is that men are intimidated by them - sincerely.
Sorry to ramble. Nothing gets me so fired up as stupid guys abusing the trust & love of righteous women. It makes me so stinkin' mad. So I liked your suggestions & praise of these women...because I know so many.
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