FIRED!



Dearest Jeffy,

I am sorry to inform you that you are hereby fired from my Estrogen Squad. It is impossible for me to say No to you and you know it. The reasons for this difficult decision are listed below:

1- Friday night you got home late. You were hungry. We went to Chili's and got chips and salsa and the Queso Dip. It was late and I shouldn't have eaten. I ate a few, but you kept telling me to eat more because you didn't want to waste it.

2- Saturday morning you wanted to go to breakfast. I wanted to stay home and have a nice breakfast of oatmeal and fruit. You pouted and I gave in. We went to Denny's because you like how they don't use pancake batter in their omelets (Ihop! *cough*).

3- I wanted to grill up some chicken for dinner before you had to leave for the Priesthood Session. You didn't want to smell like the grill, and you weren't quite hungry. When you came home you were starving and wanted to go get some Panda Express. We got there and it seemed like every man in the Salt Lake Valley was in line. So, instead we stopped at Papa Murphy's pizza and you ordered a Stuffed Pepperoni. I ate a piece...or two.

4- During the afternoon session of conference you wanted a treat. So, I made Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies. I could have just not eaten any, but I ate a few.

5- You are never home for dinner, so Sunday night I make whatever you want. This week, you wanted Navajo Tacos. Fried bread. Yum... I ate a small one, but I still felt guilty.

Therefore, the above stated events are the reason you are hereby fired from my Estrogen Squad. I love you, but you are hindering me. You know my weaknesses and you pulled 5 of them out this weekend alone. I will not let you do this anymore. You're Fired!

Sincerely,

Your loving *but I don't want to be plump anymore* wife