Annoyed

These are the days when I need to just shut everybody and everything out. I woke up on the WRONG side of the bed this morning.

It was weigh in day. Oh how I dread weigh in day. I gained 2 pounds. I stood on the scale in shock. Who wants to start their day like that? Then, Jeff (who still hasn't accepted his release from my Estrogen Squad) got on and lost 2 pounds. (Oh! I found them, they are on my fat body!) He must have forgotten what I weighed last week, because he said, "At least you didn't gain weight." (Excuse me? You're still fired.)

I got in the shower while Mr. Skinny got back into bed. Everything was annoying me. The fact that Jeff ate every Pumpkin chocolate chip cookie, drank full on soda every night before bed, admitted to buying nachos and Five Alarm Doritos every day, and came home last night and complained that there was no way he was going to lose this week (because he has just bought a Macho Chicken Burrito from Del Taco), and then he steps on the scale and loses 2 pounds. (Add that to Reason #6 you are no longer allowed on my Estrogen Squad!)

I was washing my face and then I felt it. Mt. Vesuvius on my chin! Seriously!!?!! It's like Mother Nature said, "You know, I know you already feel bad enough, let's just add a little something extra." I imagine her voice to be sugary sweet and when she talks you can't tell if it is a compliment or a put down. No, I don't have a butt chin, but today it sure looks like I have a lopsided one. No amount of makeup can cover that baby up.

I had a friend once ask me if I had gotten to the stage of feeling sorry for myself (because I am struggling in the Rugrat department and she's been there). At the time I said no, because I wasn't. But, I am human, and today I sure felt it. I am feeling the doubts and sadness creep in. The lack of weight loss, the wonderful pimples and some other *amazing* situations in my life have compounded into a craptacular start to my day. It will pass, but indulge me my moodiness for a moment.

* All of my dear friends who are pregnant, I am SOOOOO happy for you.  I mean that sincerely. I don't have a single friend who will not make an excellent mother. I only surround myself with the best peeps. It's hard to explain the mixed emotions. I am happy for you, but sad for me. I haven't hit the point where I am avoiding baby showers, yet. I hope I never do. I don't ever want to begrudge you your happiness. Besides, babies are so cute, and I will hold them anytime. I don't even mind a little spit up. Just don't be surprised if they want to come home with me.

GO AWAY inadequate feelings. Just go away and don't come back. I have had blessing after blessing and I know it will come in the Lord's time. So, take that, SUCKA!